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Colbert taunts Trump over his ‘one-on-Un’ with Kim

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US President Donald Trump took questions from reporters after he and North Korean leader Kim Jong Un signed a document. Trump said Kim is very smart, a worthy negotiator and loves his country very much. He says they’ll be meeting many times. (June 12)
AP

Late-night writers will have no shortage of material this week, thanks to President Trump’s summit with North Korean leader Kim Jong-Un.

Late Night host Seth Meyers reminded his audience that the two leaders wouldn’t meet until after he’d taped Monday’s show. “So if you’re watching this on TV right now, either it went well or you have a TV in your fallout shelter.”

Over on CBS, Late Show host Stephen Colbert noted that the summit is happening on Singapore’s island of Sentosa, home to a Universal Studios theme park. “We’re on the brink of World War Wheeeeeee!” he cracked over a photoshopped image of the two on an amusement- park ride.

Colbert continued, “They’re going to meet one-on-one — or one-on-Un — for about 45 minutes, and Trump said he doesn’t even need that much time to tell if Kim is serious about denuclearization.”

At a Saturday press conference during the G7 conference, the president had predicted he’d know within a minute just by going off “my touch, my feel. That’s what I do.”

Colbert replied, “Oh, we know that’s what you do. When you’re a star, they let you do it!”

But on the bright side, Meyers said that if things do go sideways, the two leaders can always bring in a mediator. Nope, not Secretary of State Mike Pompeo or his North Korean counterpart. Someone with whom both Trump and Kim have a long relationship.

“That’s right: Dennis Rodman arrived in Singapore today for the summit,” Meyers laughed. “So at least if Kim launches a nuclear missile, Rodman will be there to grab the rebound … See all the action unfold on this week’s The Apprentice: Doomsday.”

Neither comedian could resist one peculiar story coming out of the summit.

Meyers reported, “Kim Jong-Un brought his own toilet to Singapore for his summit with President Trump to prevent intelligence agencies from using the sewer to get information on his health. Said intelligence agencies, ‘We’re just gonna go ahead and guess bad then?’ “

That’s right,” Colbert proclaimed. “Kim Jong-Un will literally not give a crap.”

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